Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
where are you?
Hypothermia
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
