But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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