these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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