I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
