Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
