She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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