I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
