we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
