think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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