You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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