i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
