Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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