Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
