Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
