i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
