It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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