He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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