so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
