you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
