He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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