he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
