there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
