All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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