that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you didnt know i had herpes?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
