Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
