Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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