So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
