He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
not ubering you a puppy
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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