:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
