People with herpes should wear stickers.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
