I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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