she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Houston, we have a blender
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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