Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Me. At least after what I've been through.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Girls should come with a carfax report
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
