You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
