so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
