you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
