my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
