yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
