We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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