Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
