I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
