this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
