Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
