Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
