I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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