i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she told me i tasted like america
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
