I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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