she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
