arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Dicks are not precious.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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