Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
