we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Randomize
