I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
