my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
