ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
