yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
