And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
