Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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