just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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