the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
