I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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